Yuletide’s philanthropic classic “Do They Know it’s Christmas” begins with Paul Young singing the lyrics: “It’s Christmas, there’s no need to be afraid”.

Apparently Paul Young never tried to park in a Canadian mall during Christmas time.

You know what, Mr. Young, you had great hair and a tight physique, but you know nothing about fear and Christmas. There are many reasons to be scared at Christmas and many of them ride on four wheels. Christmas means trafficking, even in the years when a deadly viral pandemic has not swept the world. Christmas driving is a nightmare. I doubt it’s a coincidence that British pop singer Chris Rea followed his hit song from 1986 Home for Christmas with the blow The road to hell in 1989.

At Christmas 2020, we were given a reprieve, as much of the country was in lockdown and the roads were clear. In 2021, we are on parole. The buyers are in the malls. The guests are in the restaurants. Alcohol lovers are in the bars. Cinephiles are in theaters. The workers (some of them) are in offices and factories.

And everyone, it seems, is on the road.

The numbers alone would form the basis of a nightmare, but other factors come into play.

Take, for example, the aversion of many city dwellers to public transport. Ridership is down, in part because people are afraid of contracting COVID-19 on public transit. Isolation in an automobile is safer. It’s also on the decline because public transportation in this country is severely underfunded. Most countries do a better job.

What’s the most important thing you need to know about winter driving?

As a result, Canadian public transit is lousy. Ridership of the Toronto Transit Commission (famous for its slogan “The Better Way”) fell 88% at the height of the pandemic and was only 45% of pre-pandemic levels in September. Three weeks ago, the TTC, which cut services, tried to attract users by announcing that they could expect longer waiting times in the metro and cuts to bus lines . The best way ? Try “The No Other Way”.

So, this Christmas season, many Canadians are traveling by car and traffic is congested. If you want to get around quickly in most cities, get on your bike; the cycle paths are deserted. Strange, that cycling becomes less attractive when it snows and the temperature drops below freezing.

Red and green are colors normally associated with Christmas but this year orange is all the rage. The construction spread almost as fast as the virus. You cannot drive on a street in a city, suburb or small town and not see the roads adorned with bright orange cones and signs saying “Expect Delays”. Who can forget Scrooge’s happy speech at the end of A Christmas Carol, “I will honor Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all year round. I will live in the Past, Present and Future but most of all, I will expect delays!

The cause may be a simple construction of roads or water pipes. In most cities, more condominiums are being erected. Traffic delays are almost constant. In the big cities, there isn’t a heritage building or monument that they won’t bulldozer in two seconds flat to throw in a condo so ugly it looks like something Mussolini ordered over the phone. If the politicians who run Canadian cities ruled the city of Rome, the only thing left of the Colosseum would be a single arch with a Circle K convenience store and accompanying condo stuck behind.

Of course, the real bane of Christmas is drunk drivers. As inevitable as snowfall, these drivers risk their lives and the lives of others to charge up and get home. What is it about the birth of the only son of God that makes people want to get back to drinking and driving? What about Christmas? Do people who practice other religions drive drunk while on vacation? I do not think so. Maybe future drunk drivers should decipher a Bible. Jesus died for your sins, but his message was not “So keep on sinning”.

Sure, he said, “Father, forgive them; because they don’t know what they are doing.

You know what you are doing. Everyone knows that drinking and driving is dangerous and morally wrong. If you want to get drunk, okay, don’t drive. Stay home and drink. Call me, we can keep each other company, but don’t kill anyone.

Speaking of me, if you have no other reason not to drink and drive, consider this columnist. My research includes news analysis. Know what you get when you search for terms like drive? Drunk Driving Stories. It is a litany of unnecessary death and destruction.

So, the forecast for Christmas driving 2021 is: expect delays, inevitable construction works, cuts in public transport and waiting times, quick bike lanes and please don’t do not drive drunk.

A Merry Christmas everyone and a good night.

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